I’ve been very sick for a few weeks now, and it was so bad when it started that I couldn’t imagine what could be ‘wrong’ with me. By the second week of pain and nauseousness, I decided to spend a day fasting and praying to draw closer to God, because I thought I experiencing the physical manifestations of a spiritual attack (this does happen to me sometimes). But that night, I had continuous dreams about being pregnant and knew it to be true. One pregnancy test and a doctor’s visit later it’s confirmed: we’re going to be parents! My husband and I are excited!
That said, it’s been a difficult first trimester. I’ve spent nearly all my time lately either on our couch or bed–or floor, in a few rougher moments. And I’m practically never sick, so not ‘functioning’ like this has been difficult and shocking to me. I’ve done almost no reading, no researching, no meeting of people, no writing (even to journal), hardly any eating (though this is improving slowly)… It’s been a new and exciting uphill journey.
My joy level, fortunately, has been fairly high, so I don’t want it to sound as if this first trimester has been terribly awful. In fact, with so many of my normal activities on hold, I’ve been able to spend many uninterrupted hours with the Lord in pure intercession and worship: singing a great deal in the Spirit, and marveling at the miracle going on in my body. I’ve also felt closer to my family than ever–though we’ve always been a pretty tight-knit group. These are definitely precious times, despite the constant nausea and physical pains. I even think I feel the Lord more powerfully when pain allows me to cry more desperately to know and experience Him.